Spennyriver Dispatch – American Exchange Visit

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Spennyriver is a small town deep in the heart of the Midlands, UK. The Spennyriver Dispatch is the local paper bringing you all the local news, keeping you up to date with all the happenings in this strange town.

It’s like a regular town with regular people. Just weirder.

American exchange visit

Over the last week, Spennyriver has been playing host to over a hundred American tourists from our twinned town of Marrowbone, Tennessee.  They have come to sample some of the excellent artwork on offer in Spennyriver, the cultural capital of the East Midlands.

First on the tour of our culturally significant artwork, was the Brian Clough statue that stands outside the Asda on Park Street.  We asked some of the tourists what they thought, and one young man, Chuck Laser, offered this:

“This is a great honour to be able to stand here in the shadow of such a great man.  I think he was a political leader during one of the wars, and this statue is a fitting tribute to his efforts.  It looks like he is shouting at someone, and his finger is pointing, so I imagine he was giving orders to charge the enemy, or something.  Totally awesome, dude.”

The group took in a range of sites that included: the picture of the Madonna, when she toured only 400 miles away from Spennyriver, the amazing Inca lines, faithfully reproduced on the Lidl car park by a group of hoodies back in the 80’s, the fantastic collection of art inspired by Tracey Emin’s ‘My Bed’, which is housed in a number of the council properties along Hovel Street, and the cracked urinal in the Ostrich and Wombat pub, which has been signed by its creator, ‘P. Hole’.

Group leader, Clint Sternum summed up the group’s week:

“We’d like to thank the town of Spammyriver for hosting us for the week.  Although you are only a small town in a second-rate country, we’ve had a great time.  It is our hope that one day soon you will come over to join us in the Greatest Country in the World and enjoy some of our hospitality.”

We are hoping to travel to Marrowbone at some point in the New Year.  If you are interested in being considered for this exchange visit, please call the booking line on 111-TAKE-CARE.

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