Spennyriver Dispatch – More Charity Cash From Sweat

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Spennyriver is a small town deep in the heart of the Midlands, UK. The Spennyriver Dispatch is the local paper bringing you all the local news, keeping you up to date with all the happenings in this strange town.

It’s like a regular town with regular people. Just weirder.

More charity cash from Sweat

Eric ‘Mr Charity’ Sweat has completed another marathon effort to raise money for local good causes.

This morning, Eric emerged from his self-imposed confinement to tumultuous applause from upwards of eight Spennyriver locals.

For the last week, ‘Mr Charity’ has been sharing a two metre by two metre vivarium with a selection of snakes, in order to raise money for the Spennyriver Yacht club.  The chairperson of the SYC had this to say about the ‘Sweaty’ effort:

“We are very grateful to Eric for his fundraising efforts over the years.  On this particular occasion, Eric has been raising money for the Spennyriver Yacht Club.  We are hoping to raise enough money to be able to purchase our first yacht, and Eric has been a big part of that effort.”

Our blogger, Jackie Monkton, had been following Eric’s weeklong exile.  She will be publishing her full report later this week, but summed up Eric’s efforts for us:

“Eric had it tough this week: firstly, he fell unconscious after just over a day, due to the high temperatures inside the vivarium.  Thankfully, it was quiet for the next couple of days, but by day four, he was unable to move either his right arm or leg following a bite from one of the snakes.  By the time he was dragged out this morning, his face had swollen to the point that he couldn’t speak.  The medical professional on scene suggested that it could possibly be due to an extreme allergic reaction to snake venom, however, the only medical professional that would attend the event was Nurse Alice Shipley, who works as a midwife, so that diagnosis is still in question.  

Just before tough-guy Eric slipped into a coma, he was able to present a cheque for £13.42 to the SYC, who gratefully accepted the donation, saying that it may pay for the bus fare to get them to the coast, as most of their members have never seen the sea.”

Eric’s next challenge will be swimming the length of the river Spenny.  That is, of course, if he regains full use of his limbs.

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