Spennyriver is a small town deep in the heart of the Midlands, UK. The Spennyriver Dispatch is the local paper bringing you all the local news, keeping you up to date with all the happenings in this strange town.
It’s like a regular town with regular people. Just weirder.
Brexit fallout in Spennyriver – Analysis and Opinion
Yesterday, upwards of 20 Spennyriver locals protested outside the council head office to make clear their views on the looming departure of the United Kingdom from the European Union. Our reporter, Alice Alison was there from 5am to catch the protesters when they start arriving. Alice had this to say:
“Why am I here at 5am, when the protest is due to start at 9am? That’s my first question. My second, I posed to local people as they arrived to make their voices heard, and that was to ask their opinion on the original Brexit decision: should we have voted to leave in the first place?
58 year old Graham Hitchin said “Why do we need the EU? What has the EU ever done for us? Nuthin’. If we need laws *mekkin’ , we’ll mek em our selves. We want people deportin’? We’ll do that ourselves. We want to raise the price of Cornish Pasties? We’ll do that.”
86 year old Doris Smith said this: “When I were a ^gel, there were no such thing as Europe. There were just us. British people on our little island, floating around wi’ no one to bother us. I don’t even think France existed back then. I voted for us to go back to a time before these countries popped up out of the ocean.”
48 year old Brian Douglas had a different take: “We needed to stay in the EU. These Euro-Septic types are living in a dream-world if they think making our own laws will work out well for us. When has that ever happened? Never. Well, except for that time that we decided to stop watching Channel 4. I think that was all us.”
19 Year old Simon Grimble voted for the first time. We asked him what he thought of the whole process:
“It’s been very confusing. No one still really knows what’s happenin’. Me mam +tode me it were somethin’ to do with Britain’s Got Talent. I think EU were that group of kids what done some breakdancing. I liked them, so I voted to keep them in.”
I will let 67 year-old, Max Angur, have the last word:
“I think it’s important for our farmers to get a decent price for their products. The Egg Union has been setting prices too low for a while now. We were right to vote leave.”
I think Local people have spoken, and the message we’re getting is very clear: No one really seems to know what is happening or why. I’m sure we’ll see how the decision to leave will impact locals over the coming months as Brexit becomes a reality.