Spennyriver is a small town deep in the heart of the Midlands, UK. The Spennyriver Dispatch is the local paper bringing you all the local news, keeping you up to date with all the happenings in this strange town.
It’s like a regular town with regular people. Just weirder.
Spennyriver district council will be holding the annual end of summer BBQ event this week, at the Wilfred Soams Memorial graveyard. The general public are being asked to buy tickets as soon as possible, as demand is expected to be high. Parents are reminded that they will only be able to bring one child per couple, so if you have more than one, you will have to choose the one you like the best.
Don’t worry those of you that don’t make that cut, Spennyriver District Council are offering exquisitely crafted hand-made models of Miley Cyrus to those of you who get left behind. These fantastic, lifelike figurines will be yours for ZERO COST. They are available for collection in the local museum from Friday. Cost of entry to the museum is £10.
Last year, the BBQ raised almost £300, which was put to good use, replacing the velvet lining in the mayor’s cloak. This year, the hope is to raise enough money to excavate the unexploded world war two bomb that was exposed in the heavy rains last year in the playing fields of Brian Clough Primary School. With enough funds, the bomb can be uncovered and a team of experts can get to work ensuring that it is safe, enabling our children to sleep soundly for the first time since it was discovered.