Knitting dispute: in depth

council logoFollowing our previous report on this incident, more evidence has come to light. The police incident hotline was swamped with calls from as many as four people, providing more clarity on happenings. For security purposes, we have altered the names of those involved.

‘George,’ who was present at the knitting circle, said that she had been sitting alongside Doris Oldee when she first became agitated, then later, violent. ‘George’ had this to say:

“When Doris stood up, she looked proper angry. I tried to calm her down, but she said ‘Laura, it’s not right. Bourbons are not built for coffee dipping’, and I couldn’t really argue with that, could I? I said the shortcakes needed replacin’, and that I would go to the shop, and *gerrum mesen. But she was already beyond calming.”

In fact, Doris, in a fit of rage, would go on to throw bourbons at some of the other members, before pushing some of the napkins on the floor, refusing to pick them up when asked. The conflict escalated from there, and Gwen Stuffy, who we are calling ‘Alan’, picked up the story:

“There were napkins everywhere, but when ‘Bourbon-Dorothy’ (Dorothy McGout, 68), as we’re calling her now, pulled out her knitting needles, that’s when the screaming started. I saw Joe (Joe Mullard, 85) move to protect Doris. His gammy legs meant that by the time he got over to her, everyone else had pretty much left. Doris **din’t need no help, though. She had her needles out too, and was stickin’ ‘em at anyone who came close.” ‘Alan’ looked visibly shaken when recounting the details, wiped tears away as she finished. “’Bourbon-Dorothy’ has had it coming for a right good while, always trying to slip in other biscuits by hiding them under the shortcake ones. One time she even hid a ginger biscuit. Can you imagine that havoc ginger biscuits could play wi’ your dentures? She needed tellin’ and we ^tode ‘er.”

‘Alan’ showed no remorse when asked about the knitting needle marks in Mrs McGout’s arms. This reporter thinks we have not heard the last of this. If there are any further developments, you will hear them here first.

* Get them myself

** Did not

^ Told her

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