Funding cuts to impact local services in Spennyriver

On Monday, Councillor Chappers, head of Spennyriver council, outlined some of the difficulties the local authority is facing in the face of increasingly aggressive austerity measures.

“We are living through difficult times. The Central Government is placing some tough restrictions on how we use the money in the public purse. We have had to take the difficult decision to close some of the public services that you have all become accustomed to. This will include leisure centre and library closures.”

The crowd that had gathered around the block of public toilets, which is currently housing the few local government officials that remain, started to show their displeasure, by throwing a selection of Haribo sweets at Cllr Chappers. He did, however, have some positive news and some alternative suggestions:

“There is some good news: the expenses claim I put in for a treehouse for my son has been approved. Timber will be arriving at the weekend, and work will begin straight away. We have also reached an agreement to share space with ‘Vera’s Chips’ to keep the library open. From Monday, books will be available alongside the fish and chips. We are still in discussions with a number of local businesses about rehousing leisure centre facilities, and we will make an announcement on that shortly.”

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