Knit and natter dispute

wool-637104_640Old rivalries were rekindled as the knitting circle met last week.

Police were called to break up a number of altercations at the community centre, when an argument broke out over the decision to get Bourbon biscuits instead of the usual shortcake ones, for the group to dip in their tea. Regular member, Hilda Jones, 48, set the scene:

“We was all sittin’ round the table, chatting like, when Dorothy comes in an’ drops a plate of Bourbons down on the table. I mean, Bourbons? Come on. We all thought she was havin’ a laugh, but when she says this is what we’re havin’, Doris just let her know what she thought of that suggestion.”

Indeed, according to others present, Doris Oldee, 61, voiced her opinion using very strong language, which some readers may find offensive. According to eye-witnesses, Doris described the Bourbon scandal as ‘blooming ridiculous’ and ‘not worth the Wurther’s Originals’ she had paid to attend the group that session. Following this outburst, she stood and attempted to overturn the table, which she failed to do, which is when the real trouble started.

There will be a full report of the incident in our next issue. Anyone present is being asked to call our incident hotline on 111-I-KNOW.

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